I am a Rain God!

I suffer from no delusions of mediocrity. I know myself to be in charge of the weather. There is no need for shock and awe, anyone able to call forth a change in the weather at will and do so repeatedly is a weather god. I came to this realization this Sunday at the pub over drinks. (C’mon! You just had to know that there was alcohol involved in this story.)

After the parade and the afternoon at the park, the group of us returned to take turns wearing historic military hats. Well, during this time the occasion arose to use one of the quotes from a movie that I use rather a lot, really: “It could be worse, it could be raining.” And within seconds, it was raining.

No, seriously! The pub, which was crowded to begin with, was suddenly absolutely jam packed because people were dashing in and they were dripping. We all looked out at it and it was pouring. “Sorry.” I said, “I thought you wanted the rain here. You were complaining about the drought.” They jokingly made comments about how the rain was entirely my fault and so I played along and said that if they didn’t like the rain I’d just make it stop. And again, within a minute, stop it did.

We all just laughed it off and later as one of the gang was getting up to leave I said that they had better stay for another round or I would make it rain again. I swear that I am not making this up but, rain again it did! As I was saying it it started coming down again. My hand which was pointing out the window dropped and I turned back to the crowded table and said “do not displease the rain god or he will bring forth the hail.”

As an aside – Treavor, the new publican, asked me last night if I had been caught-out in the hail Sunday. He said he looked out the window about seven o’clock and there were ice pellets in the planter outside the kitchen window. He had been in the kitchen all day Sunday and didn’t know that we had spent most of the later part of the afternoon there. So, unless Angie, Bev, Kevin, Paul or Terry told him about the freaky coincidences that I am now relating to you, he had no reason to make-up the hail so I am guessing it actually did hail.

Everyone at the table now was a bit taken aback by the fact that I seemed to be causing weather changes by simply pointing out the window and mentioning the kind of weather that I wanted. They all asked me to make it warm and sunny. I told them that unless the pleased the rain god he would call forth S – N – O – W. They all told me to put the finger away and quit showing off. So I said “Sunny and warm” and pointed out the window.

It really is easy being a rain god if you, from where you are sitting can depend on bands of rain and sun to be passing over with some regularity. Sometimes you get lucky. Or perhaps I am a rain god.

I hope the weather where you are is pleasant; if not, let’s see what I can do about it!

Don Bergquist – 10-May-2005 – Thames Ditton