Conversation Starter?

Granted that I am not yet fully conversant in the customs and etiquette of the country I am on an extended visit to, I still fail to see a non-insulting way to take this particular conversation starter. The man said it completely mater-of-factly and it was inflected such that even my US ears heard the interrogative, so what was I to think?

Oh, I guess I should give you some of the background and let you decide. I have a Christmas party to attend and need a nice jacket to wear. Since I didn't pack one (this office wears jeans or khakis every day) I decided to walk into Kingston upon Thames to look for one. (I found only one that I liked but that is another story.)

By UK standards (or at least what I take to be standard for this time of year) it is a fairly nice day. By which I mean that the temperatures are holding to mild (low-to-mid 50's) and it's overcast and a bit foggy but not actually raining. So I donned a pair of walking shoes, my jeans, and a warm sweatshirt and headed northeast along the Thames.

I wasn't really in any particular hurry or anything but, being six-four, I have a fairly long stride and tend (even at a stroll) to move at a fairly brisk clip. My casual attire could have been the impetus for his comment, I guess; being Sunday morning I perhaps should have (in his mind) been dressed for church. To which I say, "Ha! What if I'm Jewish and so my Sabbath was 'kept holy' the day before?" Perhaps it was because he thought I was rushing. Who knows?

Admittedly when I passed them, an elderly couple nicely dressed, they seemed to be in no hurry to get anywhere.

"Good morning." I said as I passed them. Partly I was being social; mostly I didn't wish to startle them as I stepped past. The couple were perhaps in their mid-sixties and nicely dressed; full leather coats, leather gloves, fur-trimmed hats, the works.

"Good morning." the man replied with a nod.

I had pulled ahead by perhaps five or six steps when the question was asked. Even now, half an hour later, as I sit on the train from Kingston upon Thames to London I cannot think of why he asked this particular question.

"Excuse me," he called after me, "but are you walking to lose weight?"

Now I'll grant that I do need to lose weight but this fine morning on the banks of the Thames is the last time and place I would have expected to have it pointed out to me! So my first instinct was to tell him and his wife to topple over into the Thames. But I suppose that there are planets where the comment might be considered the start of a pleasant conversation between complete strangers so I decided to choose from any of the other possibilities that were running through my head.

In the second I had to choose from the plethora of possible responses, I picked the least caustic one I could think of. Forcing all emotion out of my voice and affecting a look of good humor I replied that I was walking because I had somewhere to be and had left my car parked in Denver. I then smiled and walked on. I'm glad that I edited that down because when I started the sentence it had ended "...I'm dieting because I need to lose weight, smartass!"

On the whole, I think I made the right choice.

Have a great day!

Don Bergquist – Thames Ditton, United Kingdom – 12, December, 2004