Take It From Context

Premise 1: Many words have more than one "correct" meaning.
Premise 2: I am not an idiot.
Premise 3: You are not an idiot.

I'm willing to leave the cheap shots to the side for one moment it you are and to accept these base premises. Based on these three points, it would certainly make communication easier if we could accept the context of the words that each other use and not get into the niggling semantic arguments that get us nowhere and bother both of us.

The other day I was at a railway station and asked one of the staff which of the train lines that came through the station would stop at a particular other station to which I whished to travel.

"None of them stop there. It isn't a terminal." Was the terse response that I received.

I cocked my head, looked perplexed and mulled this response over for about half a second. Seeing my confusion, the station man went on "every train that leaves this platform calls on that station, but none of them stop there." Now I was irritated, not only did he just lie to me, he used an irritating local preference of words to negate my use of a perfectly acceptable word.

"Ah, so while the train is calling on that station, the passengers just jump on and off of the moving train?" I asked sarcastically?

"The train stops moving, long enough to allow the boarding of passengers." The man replied.

"Okay!" I retorted, "Now that we have established that trains do actually stop at that station and not just fly through it without stopping. Which trains actually do stop? Last week I was told they all did and I was instructed to board one that didn't stop for the next six stations."

The man indicated the train coming down the tracks preparing to stop. "This one calls on that station." He said pointedly.

This is just one story of how the blind adherence to a limited choice of locally preferable words impedes communication. Therefore, I hereby call a truce. I will stop pointing out how the words I use are correct if you will stop correcting my English and insisting I am using words that do not mean what I know that they do! Who cares if it is a sweater or a jumper? Who cares if it is a lift or an elevator? If you van get what I mean from context, go for it!

Of all the things I love about this place, your megalomaniacal view of the language that derives its name from the name of your country has got to stop. There are countless dialects of English that all are valid and acceptable. No matter how much I may hate having to admit this, they are all "correct" for the people who use them.
I hope that wherever you are today, you will have an excellent day. (...however you choose to phrase it.)

Don Bergquist - 02 October 2006 - Thames Ditton, Surrey, UK