Cheers!

Dad tells a story about a deposition he gave once. It is a pretty long and involved story concerning how the lawyer deposing him kept paraphrasing him so that what the lawyer was saying no longer had the same meaning as what Dad was saying. The culmination of the story occurs when the lawyer, in a desperate attempt to put Dad in his place and get him to quit "correcting" what the lawyer was saying, asked Dad to state for the record what qualified him as an expert on the English language.

"Well, hell!" Dad responded, "I've been speaking it since I was a kid!"

(Dad tells it better - sorry dad, I had to use one of your stories!)

I have to remind myself from time to time that the language I hear every day in the streets and the office here in London is, after all, the language that, as Dad so eloquently put it: Well hell! I have been speaking since I was a kid!

Aside from the words that I have grown to understand and use in daily conversation, there are also the enigmas of the language that keep striking me from time to time. "Cheers" is one of these words. As near as I can suss out "cheers" is the British equivalent of the Hawaiian word "aloha." It is, apparently an all-purpose word and one must infer its meaning from the context.

If you are in the post office and someone holds the door so that you can make it in with your armload of packages (Imagine that, they do that kind of thing here. Really! I've seen it!!) and you want to express thanks, you say "Cheers." In this context, it means "thanks."

At the train station on your way into the office you are approached by a stranger asking if they can have that section of the paper you just set aside. You relinquish it and they say "Cheers" unless you're reading one of the seedier tabloids, it definitely means "Thank you" here. If you are reading the Sun, it more likely means "Page three girl, here I come!"

You enter the office and pass a workmate on the way to your desk. "Cheers" is the greeting he gives as you pass. It probably does not mean "thanks" here, but "hello."

On departing for the evening, you wish the guy in the next office a pleasant evening and an easy commute home. Here is a trick one. You have to listen to the tone in his voice when he says "Cheers." If the tone is upbeat and cheerful, the meaning is probably something like: "yeah, you have a pleasant evening too!" If, on the other hand, he looks annoyed or morose and sounds sarcastic or down beaten, then you can bet that the intended meaning is more like: "Get lost, arsehole, I have just learned that due to engineering works on the Jubilee Line I will not get home until well after ten tonight!"

A the pub that evening, someone lifts a glass of Tanglefoot in your direction and says "Cheers." More likely as not it translates here as "Drink up buddy, I'm off to the loo but then it is your round to buy!"

As you may have gathered, a salutation so varied in its application is likely to have a varied set of responses! You, as the foreigner, are on thin ice here. You have to pick the correct response to the word right if you don't want to look like a complete twit.

To the man who held-open the door, you can either say a cheery "Thanks" or you can stare at him in complete and utter shock that someone went out of their way to help a stranger. (I'd go for the first!)

At the train station, your response should probably be "ta!" which means something like "You're welcome." (And not "good bye" as I had thought.) Unless you note that he immediately turns to page three... In that case, just sit there and hope he goes away.

At the office, a simple "good morning" will suffice.

At quitting time, you have to play it safe. If it looks like there might be engineering works, you could offer alternatives - but as this does not seem to sit well with the locals, a simple wave of the hand as if you had missed the fact that he will be sitting on the train for the next four hours is probably your best bet!

At the pub, there is no question. You simply respond "Cheers," get the barman's attention and reach for your wallet!

I hope that wherever you are, you are learning something new today!

Don Bergquist - 03-February-2006 - Thames Ditton, Surrey, United Kingdom