Monday, January 07, 2013

The USA Under The FSM

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...

Those of you who know me will probably be rolling your eyes right about now. Yes, I am back up on the soap box on this one. I have seen a number of posts recently espousing everything from encouragement to outright mandate of some religious display in public schools. The most recent but far from the only one was my dear cousin in South Carolina (and I am not picking on you – you were just the most recent to post one) who posted an editorial by a local television station about a move to mandate the saying of The Lord's Prayer in public schools. 
Here's a thought experiment for everyone who harbors dreams of installing a Christian theocracy in the USA: Imagine that tomorrow morning when you awake, the US is no longer a largely Christian country. 90% of the country now worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Each Friday they celebrate the Pastover and end their prayers with "R'amen!"

Your children are, due to popular support of the Pastafarian majority, compelled to celebrate Ramandan in school. There is a picture of the FSM in every courtroom, school room, and police station. His meatballs be blessed, the FSM created the universe after a long night of drinking and your children are taught this in their schools… because it is "a good thing for children to get a religious training."

Does this sound far-fetched? Well, admittedly it is, a bit! But before you dismiss this as entirely frivolous, think about this; at the close of the last century nearly 9-in-10 Americans identified themselves as belonging to one of the Christian sects, by 2008 that number had fallen to just over 7-in-10. Majorities inevitably change. If the history of mankind has taught us nothing else it is that when the oppressed become the oppressors they seldom behave better to those below them in the pecking order better than they were treated themselves.

Of course this is parody, the Loose Canon of the FSM has no dogma, it is specifically designed to NOT impose itself on anyone else's religious beliefs. But then, is that not what EVERY religion claims? Live and let live until you are in power – then it's down the sink with the rest of the hot salt water!

Forget for the moment the hypocrisy of the fact that the most vocal people who espouse the teaching of Christian beliefs in our schools also tend to be the loudest critics of many of the Middle Eastern countries for being theocracies; apparently they are just the wrong kind of theocracy. ANY theocracy is inherently a bad one. When religion becomes law dissent becomes sin. I guess that is okay for those who believe with the law, but His Noodleness Forbid that the person who is making the law disagrees with your world view!

Wherever you are today I wish you a happy day, free from the yoke of someone else' religious dogma

Don Bergquist – January 07, 2013 – Lakewood, Colorado, USA

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