News Of A Fictional Nature

I may have missed today's non-issue story through rampant apathy except that it happened to come on as I was getting ready to head out for my morning bike ride. Apparently, Archie Andrews has finally made the choice.

Archie, that man-about-town who has been dating both Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge for the past sixty-five years, has finally decided to legitimize the relationship with one of them – but which one? The world holds its breath!

Honestly, I haven’t thought of the old Archie Comics in years, and certainly wouldn't this morning either but for the story on the "news" program that happened to be on the television. But the talking heads were chatting about the virtues of Betty and the money in Veronica's account.

But I think that they missed the story here…

They were prattling on about how by choosing to marry Veronica (yes, he chose Veronica and Betty is in tears) he was selling out; that he was choosing the private jets, vacation homes, and fast cars over true love.

I think that they really missed the point. He'll need all that money and all those ways to get away. He'll need to get away from the wrath of Ms. Cooper whom he has been stringing along all these years and has now dumped like last week's trash. Talk about a woman scorned…

Of course, Archie has a history of being fickle… He's been dating both women for over a half-century. Am I the only one that thinks perhaps there is a chance for Betty yet? Can anyone else see Betty in the role of mistress? (Ooh! How European!) With all those houses, cars, jets, etc. how easy would it be to slip off for a night of passion with one of his old girlfriends while the wife is at a charity fund-raiser?

Veronica, I have two words for you: "Prenuptial Agreement!"

Wherever you are today, I hope that you're having a great day!

Don Bergquist – May 28, 2009 – Lakewood, Colorado, USA