"So Seriously, I mean it!" Jones, the big bull, was saying to his companions. They all stood around the floor of The Watering Hole pub reliving the day at the office for the delight and amusement of their friends.
"I had just said to Johnson: 'Johnson,' I said, 'all it is going to take is one more thing to set me off!' it had been a bad day. First, I showed-up and discovered that the grass I had chomped just a week ago had been replaced and I had to chomp it down again! I mean who does this!?
"Have you noticed it? You get rid of a particularly bothersome clump only to have some asshole replace it so that the next time you come by, there it is!"
His companions are all muttering and nodding their assent.
"And then to make it worse, you have the boss riding your back! Mr. Redbill, the little twerp! I mean sure, he gets rid of the bugs in the system, but what kind of qualifications does he have? And, am I wrong, he seems a bit flighty to me."
This elicits a laugh as he takes another slug off his grass juice highball.
"So anyway, with the boss riding me, and the problem trying to decide which project to tackle next, what should happen but this big-ass white box comes up behind me. It was making this strange sound… kind of a rumbling sound so I turned to watch. It quit making that noise and then I could hear a clicking sound.
"Well, this I didn't like at al so I told the big white box-beast to just fuck off and get on with whatever he was supposed to be doing. But is the box-beast smart enough to comply? No! He isn't! He just stands there!"
At this point, Smith tries to add to the story that he had seen a big blue box-beast a few days ago, but Jones didn't stop talking long enough to allow him an entry.
"I took my best 'Bugger Off' stance. Finally, the idiot white box-beast got the idea and started to retreat, I gave him what-for! Advancing to make sure that he didn't come back, I made sure he got the point. I had a lot to do!
"After that, I got back to a bit of clump chopping I had on my agenda before the evening meeting. What a day!" and then to the bar maid he added, "Flossy, another one over here please!"
Charlie Jones, Cape Buffalo First Class – 07 November 2007 – The Watering Hole pub, Imfolozi Game Reserve, South Africa
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